


The Sad but True

by 55555ive



Category: Furry (Fandom), Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bisexual Male Character, Depression, Drug Dealing, Drugs, F/M, Forced Relationship, Gangs, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Library, Love, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Multi, Other, POV Male Character, Poison, Radio, Rape, Sex, Violence, pop5on22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-22 04:29:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8272879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/55555ive/pseuds/55555ive
Summary: The story of a troubled dog trying to figure out whats real and fake as well as what it is worth . Also very sexual at times and contains some violence. New chapters will be posted frequently in the future.





	1. Slow on the Ground

I was a mess , his seed dripped from my gaping hole as I panted and caught my breath on the floor. My furr was creamed and untamed as he began to get dressed. His name was Trevor, he was a lion, he was my friend. My name is Frank, I'm just a dog. He finished getting dressed as I finally caught my breath he forgot his shoes as he left my bed room and walked to the kitchen, but I don't think he cared. I put on my pants and my shirt and followed behind him, we sat at my table as he drank a beer. 

 

Trevor - are you ok now 

 

Frank- I don't know 

 

Trevor - I gave you what you wanted right 

 

I couldn't make eye contact. There was nothing to be ashamed of but I felt as if I was still naked, god knows my ass was still leaking. 

 

Trevor - I gave you what you needed and you know I'm happy I was the one to do it 

 

Frank- I know, but 

 

I couldn't finish my thought, my tongue caught it'self.

 

Trevor - but what , look I know I'm your friend but this doesn't mean anything, I'm still your friend , sex is just sex 

 

He took a sip of his drink before he continued. 

 

Trevor- it's just sex 

 

I looked away as he continued to drink until he finished his drink got up from the table and left my apartment. The second he closed the door and I was alone I began to cry. Sitting at that table crying with my ass draining out into my pants in that dimly lit room I felt worthless, like a slut. I let my best friend fuck me like a bitch. I let him use me over and over again so many times that night. If only he knew that he owned Mr , if only he knew I would gladly be his pet. It wasn't just sex , not to me. But it's the only way I can ever have him. 

 

So I'll let him come back whenever his cock may wish. I'll spread myself open and take him and all he has to give for what little it may be it means the world when his very touch feels like a warm eternity. And I'll be a slut , forever wanting what I can't have but grasping at the closest thing to it that I can find. His love will never be mine. .... great now I've gone Shakespeare.

 

It was the day after me and my best friend had crossed a line. We were at work , we both had day jobs at a local radio station. We didn't really know what we were doing and the job had no title but it was an easy job that allowed us to spend time together just hanging out all day. That day felt so different from the rest , it was clear nothing had really changed for Trevor but I felt like I was in a whole other world. We've been friends since I was born , his family and mine have always been next door to one another. But after having sex it was as if he'd changed, he was a different person to me. 

 

We sat at our shared desk area looking up news for the radio host to possibly discuss on air. He was his usual funny self making the day fun and I was my usual serious self keeping us somewhat on track. 

 

I started to forget what we had done as the day went by. It seemed that talking about everything but what was on my mind was slowly getting it off my mind until I finally forgot it all together. But then it happened, I was mid laugh when he brought it back. 

 

Trevor - so do you wanna do what we did yesterday again after work 

 

My laugh cut as my eyes went from playful and relaxed to focused and centered on him. I didn't respond. 

 

Trevor - I said do you want to redo last night, hello Frank , Franklin, Franky anyone home 

 

I came back to my senses. 

 

Frank- oh um sure, why not

 

Trevor - you can say no if you want to , I know I'm your best friend but you can tell me if I'm a lousy fuck 

 

Frank- no you were great, I loved it 

 

Trevor - you loved it 

 

Frank- I mean you were good , it was fun , not that I loved anything 

 

Trevor - alright, well I'm glad you were straight forward with me about you being into me 

 

I gulped as I was honed into his every word. 

 

Frank- yea 

 

Trevor -yea , I mean dude if you had told me sooner I could have been fucking you since college

 

Frank - weren't you with Mary when we were in college 

 

Trevor - yea but I'd still make time to give my bone to my best pall 

 

Frank- don't call your dick a bone 

 

Trevor - what , don't dogs like bones 

 

There was a pause. 

 

Trevor - ok my dick is not a bone , but you will have it in your mouth tonight 

 

Frank - yea 

 

He lowered his smile and put on a more serious face. 

 

Trevor - but I feel like I should remind you , it's just sex for me 

 

Frank- I know 

 

Trevor - I mean I know your gay but I see you as a friend and that's all 

 

Frank- I know, I get it 

 

Trevor - cool , then I'll be over at around 8 or 9 

 

Frank- yea , that sounds good, do you wanna do it at my place again or yours 

 

Trevor - your place is cool

 

We went back to typing and seaching. The rest of the day was spent quietly working, Trevor was still plenty alive all day but it was clear I wasn't in the mood to socialize. 

 

I returned home to my apartment tired from work. I didn't have much time before Trevor would be by so I didn't try to clean up. He had already left stains in my carpet from the last night so I doubt he would care about a few clothes on the floor or soda cans on my tables. 

 

He arrived, he walked casually already shirtless and without shoes. His pants were already loosely fit so they barley stayed on him as he walked from my front door to my living room. He sat on my couch and began to undo his pants. 

 

Frank - wait wait , you just got here 

 

Trevor - oh sorry bro , I thought you'd wanna get right to it 

 

I came and sat beside him on the couch. We didn't say anything. His cock was already clearly up and tenting something fierce in his pants. He began to play with his thumbs and I realized I was making us halt when he was already at full speed. 

 

I wanted to see if we could be more than just a quick fuck. He was already my friend but despite his warning of his inability to be more than a sexual partner I still needed to try. My problem was figuring out how to change his mind without directly asking him to. And as I thought up ways to make him see me as more than a friend his little friend grew more impatient. 

 

Trevor - so are we gonna do this

 

I snapped back to reality. 

 

Frank - yea of course , I didn't invite you over to give you blue balls 

 

He laughed happily as he finally undid his pants and slid them off. 

 

Trevor - I'll let you do what you do 

 

He grabbed the tv remote and flipped on the TV. He got comfortable spreading open his legs and putting one of his feet up on my coffee table. As he got comfortable I layed my head in his lap and took his cock in my mouth . He moaned lightly at the feeling before he put a hand on the back of my head. He didn't force me or anything, he just stroked my head running his fingers through my hair as I sucked him. 

 

His moans grew more vocal as I started to take him balls deep, a task that was not easy to Bo with a cock bigger than a water bottle and just as thick. I gaged and drooled all over his cock and balls getting his lap sloppy and wet but it was clear he didn't care. His toes crinkled every time I slid off and I could feel his cock coming close with every throb and the dripping of pre almost at the level of a flood.

 

Trevor - dude, I'm glad you told me your gay , you give some of the best head ever 

 

He pulled me off of his cock by the back of my head. I caught my breath as pre and saliva dripped from my face. 

 

Trevor - you don't want me to finish in your mouth do you , or does it matter to you 

 

Frank- whatever you want to do is fine 

 

He moved his hand from the back of my head to the side of my face and piped his thumb in my mouth. I sucked it as we looked each other in the eye, he smiled at me with a friendly yet cheeky smile. 

 

Trevor - look dude let me be honest, last night was unexpected but I loved it and I know you did too , but I also know why you loved it so much , and I think it's pretty cool you can get past the fact that I'll never see you as more than a friend 

 

He pulled his thumb from my mouth and rubbed it clean on my chest. 

 

Trevor - you wanna kiss me right now don't you 

 

Frank - yes 

 

Trevor - see that's what worries me dude, I know you have a thing for me , and doing all of this is supposed to be fun for me and a way for you to get over me , but is it working that way 

 

Frank - what do you mean 

 

Trevor - are you getting over me or is this just making you more into me 

 

I couldn't respond. Instead I got up and sat in his lap , his cock was hard and long as it slid in me. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders saying ok as he gripped my waist and helped pull me down his shaft. 

 

I layed my head on his shoulder as he bucked upwards into me fucking my ass loose with every thrust. 

 

I wined and cried in both pleasure and pain and this only made him go harder. He took me and layed me on my back in the couch without removing his cock as he began to pile drive my ass. The sound of his thighs and my ass clapping became rhythmic as he was unrelenting. Our tails joined together tightly as I could feel him about to erupt. 

 

He did 3 final thrust and on the last he pined me down with his body laying flat on mine as he cumed. 

 

He started to stroke my head again as his cock plugged the cum in my ass. 

 

Trevor - your a good friend, and I'm sure you'll get over me eventually, but until then 

 

He pulled out and his cock was dripping cum and my ass began to drain. 

 

Trevor - my cock and your ass can hang out as much as you need 

 

I said nothing as I layed there . He sat on the floor and watched more TV as I layed on the couch. He didn't get dressed and really I forgot that we were naked after a point. 

 

We ate whatever was in my fridge and after that he had me suck his cock again, this time he let himself cum in my mouth. I think I fell to sleep with him in my mouth. 

 

I woke up with his cock still in my mouth, he was still sleeping. As I got up and sat up in the couch I felt my throat was sore. There was cum stains all over my face making my skin and furr tight. He began to wake up and as he did I went to my bathroom. I washed my face as I heard him through the door. He got up yawned went to the fridge and then started getting dressed. As a dog my hearing is pretty good so I also heard his grunts and moans from what I assumed was because of his sore dick. 

 

I left the bathroom. I noticed I was still naked as he was finished putting his clothes on. It was a little awkward but that feeling faded as I saw him step in cum on my carpet with his bar feet. I laughed and he did too. 

 

Trevor - so I guess I'll see you at work after you get cleaned up .... and dressed 

 

Frank - yea 

 

Trevor - you really wanted it bad last night, you even went to sleep sucking me off and I've never had that happen before 

 

Frank - what can I say, but I guess you realy wanted it too 

 

Trevor- yea I had a few loads pent up , but anyway I'll see you at work 

 

Frank- alright 

 

He started walking to the front door and I walked him out. 

 

Trevor - oh and don't forget to brush hard , wouldn't want the coworkers to know I banged your brains out 

 

Frank -I wouldn't say you banged my brains out 

 

Trevor - banged them in 

 

Frank- never mind, I'll see you at work 

 

He walked out and closed the door behind him. I went to take a shower. It was a long shower, so long the hot water turned cold. I leaned against the wall letting the water run through my furr and as it did I allowed it to drown out my cry. I wanted him so badly but he's just a friend, nothing more. Leting him fuck me didn't make it easier to get over him. I thought if I had him just once then maybe I wouldn't have thoughts of what if, but allowing him to use me has only made me want him more. Before I let him have me all I had were thoughts, but now I have questions. If I love him this much as a friend and this much as a fuck , what could he be to be as a partner, what could I be to him. I've been alone for so long and in his embrace I feel a warmth unknown to me. 

 

As the water finally was too cold to stand I got out and got dressed. 

 

I was on my way to work ,I could drive but the radio station is so close I like to walk. I passed my usual check points , the coffee shop where where I got me and Trevor's favorite donuts. Then I passed Mr.Romero's place, he was my high school principal but now he's just a cranky old horse that likes to remind people of the good old days. No one really visits him, his house is just at the center of town so it's hard not to pass him. 

 

My last stop before getting to work was at the library. I'm not proud of myself but me and Trevor from time to time get into more than just drinking. The neighborhood weed dealer is an avid reader so the library is the usual spot of transactions. His name is Daren a 20 something year old meerkat, he's your typical drug dealer with a twist. He never does any of his own drugs, but he seems to have such a natural high that he doesn't need to. 

 

I don't usually buy anything from him without Trevor with me but I felt like I needed a pick me up and I didn't want Trevor to know why. The hard part about buying weed from Daren is that you have to find him first. You always know he's in the library but the library is 4 stories tall with multiple sections, and like I said Daren is an avid reader so he's never in the same spot twice.

 

It's a good thing my job is so laid back because it took me about 30 minutes or so to find him. He was on the rooftop reading some dead poet's novel. 

 

Frank - I've been looking everywhere for you 

 

Daren- well I suppose that is why it has taken you so long to find me 

 

Frank- what 

 

I approached him , he was standing pretty close to the edge of the building almost dancing near the edge as he read from his book. 

 

Frank - why are you up here 

 

Daren- the wind helps open the mind Frank , but what are you doing up here 

 

Frank - I need 

 

Daren- a job , sorry can't help you 

 

Frank - no , I need 

 

Darren - a prostitute, those are usually over on 9th 

 

Frank- no, what I need is 

 

Daren- love 

 

Frank- for the love of god , I'm trying to say I need weed 

 

Daren - you don't need weed, you want weed ,there is a difference 

 

I face palmed myself. 

 

Frank- can we not do the whole philosophy thing right now , I'm kinda running late for work 

 

Daren -you don't need weed , what you need is relief 

 

Frank -and we're doing the philosophy thing aren't we 

 

Daren -your a very troubled and lonely person Frank , you think you hide it well but I can see a shadow over you black enough to cast 3 shadows 

 

Frank- I'm not lonely and I'm not troubled 

 

Daren - now let's not start telling lies Frank , if you didn't have Trevor who would you call a friend 

 

I had to pause for a minute to think.

 

Frank - I guess you 

 

Daren - I'm not your friend, I'm your drug dealer, now maybe if you came to see me other than when you need weed you could call me your friend, but you don't so I'm not 

 

Frank - so what , I have a best friend who cares if I have a lot of friends or not, I have one that counts 

 

Daren - maybe but do you really see him as a friend 

 

I stepped back in slight shock from the question. 

 

Frank - what's that supposed to mean 

 

Daren - your gay aren't you , now I don't mean to be offensive but some of the behavior between you and Trevor is alot more close than just friends, and a good amount of it comes from your end 

 

Frank - your crazy, you don't know what your talking about 

 

Daren - I see it every time you two come through here, you cling to the guy like a life line, and I've never seen you with anyone else or even heard of you being in a relationship, but I know Trevor has plenty of friends and he's no stranger to clubs and parties and I think even 9th street

 

Frank -can I just get my weed already 

 

He stepped away from the edge of the building and got close to me. He looked me in my eye without blinking.

 

Daren- money 

 

I frantically searched my pockets and gave him a 50 and then he tossed me a bag. 

 

Frank - thanks 

 

He walked back to his edge. 

 

Daren - any time , but when your ready to talk about what you really need get back to me, you don't have to be lonely

 

Frank - I think I'll pass on the impromptu therapy , but thanks for the offer I guess 

 

Daren -suit yourself, but my offer is on the table 

 

He returned to his reading as I went on my way. 

 

I finally got to work about two hours late but Trevor covered for me by telling our boss I was looking into a story. 

 

I settled into my desk across from Trevor and got to work. I didn't want for what Daren told me to get to me but it did and as the day went on my need to say something to Trevor grew. At break time I pulled him into a storage closet. 

 

Trevor - did someone not get enough last night 

 

Frank - what, no this isn't a sex thing 

 

Trevor - oh , well we are in a closet so it could be 

 

Frank - no not right now , I wanted to ask you something 

 

Trevor - what about 

 

Frank -do you think it's strange that your my only real friend 

 

Trevor - I'm not your only friend 

 

Frank - yea you kinda are, and I've never realy met any of your friends

 

Trevor - sure you have , remember that Christmas party just a few months back 

 

Frank - that was a company party , and I wasn't there 

 

Trevor - I know you were at that party , we both got waisted and woke up the next morning in some guys lawn 

 

Frank- that wasn't me , that was Jared from accounting, there are pictures on Facebook 

 

Trevor - oh, well it doesn't matter , you wouldn't like most of my friends anyway 

 

Frank - but I'm your best friend, don't you at least want me to try 

 

Trevor didn't say anything, he looked away as he scratched the back of his head. 

 

Frank - you do want me to meet your other friends right

 

Trevor - look dude your my best friend but your clingy , and it's because your into me which we both know I'm fine with but I don't want people thinking we're together 

 

Frank - that's really what you think , that I'm just some clingy guy that's into you

 

Trevor - I'm the only person you talk to , im the only person who has ever seen the inside of your apartment, you buy me donuts everyday , we work together and your always around me, hell you let me fuck the shit out of you knowing I won't ever love you 

 

I couldn't speak as a gulp in my throat wouldn't go down. 

 

Trevor - yes your my friend, your my overly attached friend , your my sad lonely friend, your my friend that I feel kinda sad for and maybe if I wasn't afraid of you being the way you are around me with other people I'd let you meet my friends but maybe what you need is to find more of your own 

 

Frank- I see 

 

Trevor - I don't mean to be a dick but I'd be hurting you if I wasn't a hundred percent honest

 

Frank- it's fine , I understand 

 

Trevor - we're still cool though right 

 

Frank - yea your just being honest 

 

Trevor - cool , so tonight then 

 

Frank- what 

 

Trevor - you wanna hang out again tonight 

 

Frank - no , you just told me I'm a sad lonely clingy friend, I think the last thing we should be doing together is having sex 

 

Trevor - dude , you are who you are, your clingy and your into me and that's not about to change over night 

 

Frank - I'm not sleeping with you 

 

Trevor - come on don't be like that 

 

Frank - I said no , and you know what I think it's time to get back to work 

 

I started opening the door to leave but he caught my hand and stopped me. 

 

Trevor - dude you give like the best head ever just say we're good so I can come over tonight 

 

Frank - I said No 

 

I started fighting to get out of the closet and when I did the door swang open and I fell to the floor. 

 

Trevor - not cool dude

 

He stepped over me and left me to get up by myself. 

 

The rest of the day was long. Sitting across from each other knowing what had just taken place made our desk arrangement less than ideal. I was both glad and sad when I got off work and went home. 

 

I had no one to call , no one to invite over. It was the middle of the week but still lonely is lonely. I wanted so badly to just call Trevor and tell him I forgave him for what he said about me , and that we could hang out again, but I knew that would be a step in the wrong direction. Then I remembered I still hadn't smoked any of that weed I bought. And then I remembered who I got it from. 

 

Sure enough I found myself back at the library looking for that meerkat. To my surprise it didn't take half an hour to find him this time , he was on the second floor in the cookbooks section siting at a table by a window letting light poor into the room. As I approached him I felt the warmth of the suns glow . 

 

Frank - hey 

 

Daren- hey 

 

There was a slight pause, a moment in which no words were spoken but a general vibe was in the air. 

 

Daren - you smoked through what I gave you that fast 

 

Frank - no, I haven't smoked any of it yet

 

Daren - oh then your here to take me up on my offer 

 

We sat at the table.

 

Frank - I don't know, I didn't have anything better to do so I thought I'd come see you 

 

Daren -you mean you didn't have anyone better to see so you came to me 

 

Frank - that's not what I said 

 

Daren - and you don't have to say it , I'm your drug dealer so it's fine if I'm not number one on your call list 

 

There was another break of silence. 

 

Frank - so how does this work 

 

Daren - how does what work 

 

Frank- you said youed help me find what I need and that I don't have to be lonely, so how does this work 

 

Daren - I think your confusing me with a therapist

 

Frank- because you tend to say therapist type things and get deep or talk about stuff that's uncomfortably private 

 

He laughed a little. 

 

Daren- I don't know how to help you I barely even know you , all I can do is tell you what I see

 

Frank - ok what do you see 

 

Daren - a sad dog with little to no friends and no relationships 

 

Frank - I think we've established that I don't have many friends 

 

Daren - alright then what are you doing about it 

 

Yet another pause took the room. 

 

Frank - I guess I'm talking to you 

 

Daren - you want me to be your friend 

 

Frank- sure , why not 

 

Daren - "sure why not" is a pretty lousy reason to become friends

 

Frank- well its a reason

 

Daren - that it is , your a funny guy Frank, I don't mean to laugh at your pain but you deal with things in a very funny way 

 

I blushed a little but not enough to see through my furr. 

 

Daren - if you really want me as a friend do something for me 

 

Frank - what 

 

Daren - don't smoke the weed 

 

Frank - what , but I paid you $50 for it 

 

Daren - I can't be friends with a drug user 

 

Frank - but you sell bugs 

 

Daren - I gotta eat and it pays well , but that doesn't mean I'm friends with my customers

 

Frank - your serious 

 

Daren - yes 

 

Frank - will you give me my money back 

 

Daren - like I said , I gotta eat 

 

I took a moment before I hesitantly put the bag of weed on the table. Daren quickly grabbed it and put it in his bag under the table. 

 

Daren - I said don't smoke it that didn't mean toss it on the table, we're in a library Frank 

 

Frank - sorry 

 

He laughed a little and I did too , I found myself looking into his eyes. 

 

Daren - let's not do that 

 

Frank - do what 

 

Daren - I can see how your looking at me , if you really want my help then take this piece of advice, don't fall in love with a guy just because he's nice or even if he's a friend 

 

Frank - I'm not falling in love with you , that's crazy 

 

Daren - sure it is, just keep the puppy eyes to yourself , friend does not equal relationship 

 

Frank - ok ok I got it 

 

He smiled at me again, and I wanted to smile back but I stopped myself. 

 

Frank- so why are you always at the library 

 

Daren - oh I live here 

 

Frank - your homeless 

 

Daren - I just said I live here 

 

Frank - a library isn't a home 

 

Daren - sure it is , my apartment is on the third floor

 

Frank - really 

 

Daren - yea I had them build it in when my dad built the place 

 

It took me a moment to put two and two together. 

 

Frank - your dad built this place

 

Daren - yea 

 

Frank - but this library was built by ... by 

 

Daren - My dad 

 

Frank- the mayor

 

Daren - former mayor, the old guy hasn't been in office for five years now 

 

Frank - but he was still the mayor, and he owns this building and most of the community buildings in town 

 

Daren - actually he owned this building but he gave it to me my last birthday

 

Frank - if your dad is the mayor

 

Daren - former mayor 

 

Frank - whatever, then why do you sell drugs 

 

Daren- because I get to meet people like you

 

Frank - you mean lonely people 

 

Daren - I mean different people 

 

Frank- can I get my money back then 

 

Daren - your a funny guy Frank 

 

He stood up and started walking to the stairs as he laughed a little. He motioned for me to follow him and i did. 

 

Daren - you know there's nothing wrong with being alone , it's just a state of mind that makes people think they need other people 

 

Frank - yea maybe. 

 

I reached the third floor and walked down a hallway until we came to a locked door that Daren had the key to. We walked inside and it was his apartment. It was a very nice place , the walls were decorated in what was clearly very expensive art his tables and chairs were modern and all the details and decorative elements to the place gave off a general rich feel. It was bright from there being so many windows. He even had one of those rich people giant fish tanks in the middle of the apartment. He guided me to sit at the bar of his kitchen and he sat with me. 

 

Frank- this is some place 

 

Daren- oh this , this is nothing

 

I couldn't believe that my drug dealer was living better than me.

 

Daren - but as I was saying, there's nothing wrong with being alone , maybe what you need is to just let yourself be alone for a little while 

 

Frank- there's nothing wrong with being alone but is there something wrong with wanting people in my life, shouldn't there be a balance 

 

Daren - depends on what feels right , I don't have many friends and I feel fine

 

Frank- but I have no friends, that's the difference 

 

Daren- what happened to Trevor

 

Frank- he and I are ...... we talked and I'm not sure if he was really my friend or just a person I wanted to be close with 

 

Daren - so I was right about you being into him 

 

Frank- that's not the point 

 

He put a hand on my shoulder and I caught his gaze. 

 

Daren - can I be honest 

 

Frank - I thought that's what you were being 

 

Daren - I'm tired, it's getting late and as much as I want to help you I have drugs to sell tomorrow so I need to sleep

 

Frank - oh , I guess I should leave then 

 

Daren - your welcome to stay here for the night 

 

Frank- are you sure 

 

Daren - you won't watch me while I sleep or steal any of my stuff will you 

 

Frank - no 

 

Daren - then yea you can stay , but you'll have to sleep on the couch 

 

Frank- that's fine 

 

Daren - great , then good night Frank 

 

He left me siting at the bar as he walked to his bedroom closing the door behind him. 

 

I was reluctant to actually sleep on his couch , it probably cost more than my whole apartment. It was an uncomfortable black leather couch, the entire night was full readjusting. The colorful lights in his fish tank didn't make sleep any easier ether as they kept changing and cascaded up and down the walls of the otherwise dark apartment. Somehow I finally found myself sleeping. 

 

The next morning was nothing worth remembering but the pain in my back made it hard to forget. As I got up I could hear Daren was already awake in his bedroom. He was having a conversation with someone on the phone 

 

Daren - yea dad I'll be there 

 

I knew who he was talk to but I didn't know what about. 

 

Daren - you know I don't .... but dad .......... if youed just ...fine 

 

I heard the click of his phone before he walked out of his bedroom. 

 

Daren - morning Frank, it's not nice to listen to people's conversations you know 

 

Frank - what 

 

Daren - I could see your shadow under my door, I don't mind though, I was just talking to my dad 

 

Frank- it sounded like you two weren't exactly seeing eye to eye 

 

Daren - I have to go to this town meeting but it's more of a party

 

Frank- what's the meeting for 

 

Daren - nothing realy , but my dad wants me to sell the library 

 

I somehow managed to go this long without noticing Daren was shirtless and his boxers were hanging on his waist ready to fall. He must have known when I noticed because in the next moment he began getting dressed. 

 

Frank- what'll happen if you sell the library 

 

Daren - well for one I won't have anywhere to live , I won't have a place for business, I'll probably have to get a real job and in this town that means working for my dad 

 

Frank- so don't sell 

 

Daren - it's not that simple, when my dad wants something he gets it , and right now he wants this place back 

 

He finished getting dressed and as he did he pushed me out of his apartment along with himself. We started walking , going down stairs. 

 

Daren - it's just like my dad to give me this place and then take it away 

 

Frank- I'm sorry 

 

We got to the front entrance and exited the building. 

 

Daren - don't be , look I have runs I need to make and I'm sure you must have work to get to so I'll talk to you later Frank 

 

Frank - when is the meeting 

 

Daren - you wanna come 

 

Frank- maybe 

 

Daren - it's Saturday at 9

 

Frank- I can be there if you want me to 

 

Daren - I already planned on having someone else as my plus one but why not 

 

Frank - great , then it's a 

 

Daren - it is not a date 

 

Frank - alright it's a get together then, does that work 

 

Daren - your a funny guy Frank, I'll see you then 

 

He went on his way and I went on mine


	2. I kissed Him

I kissed him. 

Daren - are you fucking kidding me right now

Frank - it just felt right I didn't mean to 

Daren - you sad lonely fuck 

Frank - I just .... 

I couldn't speak, I hate it when I cry but I started to right then and there. I tried to hold it in , I even turned around so he couldn't see my face but I know he could still see it happening. I was breaking down. The night started so well but somehow it end here with me and Daren standing on the rooftop of his library with me in tears. But can you blame me , he such a nice guy , and he actually gives two fucks about me. 

 

 

The night started with Daren picking me up and driving us to the towns country club out in the mountains. He was dressed somewhat nicer than usual with a shirt on that had a suit pretend on it and black pants. I almost felt over dressed in my suit, then again it was a rather old suit I'd only worn out when my grand parents wanted me to go to church. 

 

 

As we stepped out of the car it was clear we were among much richer and prestigious company. 

 

 

Frank - I've lived in this town my whole life and I don't think I've ever been here before 

 

 

Daren - yea it's a bit much but, the people who hang here aren't exactly the usual customers

 

 

Daren tossed his car keys to they valet as we walked inside the building. The place had exposed wooden frame work and metallic construction. The floors were this rich mixture of white and green marble. And there were hardly any walls that weren't glass so that you got a view of the horizon from the top of the mountain no matter where you stood. From the second we walked in Daren was picking up glasses of wine from the walking servers throwing them back like he was putting out a fire.  
Frank - don't you think maybe you should slow down 

 

Daren - your a funny guy Frank, trust me if your smart you'll start knocking a few of these back yourself 

 

 

He walked further into the crowd of people following a tray of drinks. I tried to follow but I lost him in the waves of people. I started to notice eye after eye look over at me , I didn't belong. And as I started to retreat into a corner I found myself taking Daren advice picking up a glass of wine. 

 

 

I sat in the corner for a while sipping from my wine glass every once and a while. Watching those people dancing drinking having a good time , it got to me. Why wasn't that me , why wasn't I having fun , I then looked down at my clothes. So what if I'm not the most best dressed , I'm still here. I started to stand and even took a step forward but my heart pounded and I felt my body become heavy. I sat back down and returned to me drink. 

 

 

I was there for a long time , I just wanted to go home. I heard the music cut and people started to sit at tables. As the room was seated I could see Daren across the room harassing some guy for more wine. I got up and went to go stop him. 

 

 

Daren - bring me another drink , do you know who paid for the drinks 

 

 

Waiter- Mr. Richardson if you would just 

 

 

Daren - my father, my father paid for those drinks and that tray and the bar you should be walking to in order to bring me back another fucking. ..

 

 

I cut in and stopped him before he could continue. 

 

 

Frank- hey Daren why don't you come have a seat 

 

 

Daren- what no this guy needs to do what he's being paid for 

 

 

I got between Daren and the waiter and waved the waiter to walk away as I walked Daren to a table in the back. 

 

 

Daren - fine fine 

 

 

We sat down just as the lights in the room began to get dim. Daren's dad walked on stage and the people clapped and applauded him until he was behind the podium center stage. Daren did a fake clap as he mumbled something and looked displeased. 

 

 

Mr. Richardson had a certain charm about him in the way that he spoke. He seemed like a nice guy but every word that came from his mouth made Daren more and more noticeably sad , angry and all around displeased. 

 

 

Mr. Richardson - as you all know with the expansion of this great community as of late , I have done my very best to not only insure that the new additions to the town are up to snuff but also that the older parts of town get upgrade 

 

 

Daren stole a glass out of the hand of a woman siting to his other side and downed the wine. 

 

 

Mr. Richardson - you know what I'm talking about, I mean the old rec center , the library, Johnny's and all of the out dated ...

 

 

Daren got up from his seat abruptly and the room turned to watch him as he went for the front door out 

 

 

Mr. Richardson- oh I'm sorry everyone you'll have to excuse my son , seems he's had a bit too much of the spirits

 

 

I followed Daren outside. 

 

 

Daren - he knows how much that library means to me , I live there, I read every book that comes in and out , I had a three some on the roof 

 

 

Frank - you had a three some on the roof 

 

 

Daren - yea , it was a great night I was with this one girl and this other guy and ... and ...um... that's not the important part , what's important is that I love that place and he's just gonna take it 

 

 

Frank - he can't just take it from you can he ? You said he gave you the building right 

 

 

Daren - my dad is still my land lord , and if he wants to he can raise my rent whenever he wants 

 

 

Daren sank to the floor siting with his back to the wall and I sat beside him. 

 

 

Daren - I don't know what I'll do if he makes me move out , I'm not an average jo like you Frank , I don't do the 9 to 5 thing , longest job I've ever held was working for my dad about a week before even he had to let me go 

 

 

Frank - I'm sure everything will be alright 

 

 

He rested his head on my shoulder and I patted the top of his head. 

 

 

Daren - I'm gonna be homeless Frank, I'm gonna be a homeless drug dealer 

 

 

Frank - sounds about right 

 

 

He laughed a little.

 

 

Daren - your a funny guy Frank 

 

 

When we eventually went back inside Daren's dad was finishing up his speech. He walked off stage and over to greet us as we started to go back to our table. 

 

 

Mr. Richardson - so good to see you decide to rejoin us son , and who's your friend 

 

 

Daren - dad Frank , Frank dad 

 

 

I tried to shake his hand but he looked at my paw before he pulled his son away. They went over to group of people that Daren didn't seem happy to speak with. It wasn't long before Daren walked back. 

 

 

Daren - we're leaving 

 

 

Frank - oh , OK , is something wrong 

 

 

Daren - I think this high altitude is messing with me , how about we go somewhere more chill and down to earth 

 

 

Frank- yea sounds good 

 

 

We left the party and went to a bar. We drank and talked and it was fun. I felt like I really had a friend.He told me about the good days when he and his father actually saw eye to eye. They weren't always so isolated from one another but as Daren got older his dad got more caught up with work , and with Daren's mother being nowhere to be found that left him to be alone for a long time. I obviously could relate to his period of loneliness. I found myself opening up about how back in high school I didn't have many friends and how in college I was the guy that stayed in his room most of the time. We began sharing so much to one another I couldn't find a line we hadn't crossed as far as secrets and feelings being told .He really felt like a friend and as friend I felt it was up to me to cut Daren off when he got to the point of slurring words and falling out of chairs. We were talking in that bar for so long we didn't notice we were 2 of the only 10 people still there at around three in morning, and five of those people worked there.  
I drove him back home. We both stumbled and trudged our way from the car into the library. We started to go back to Daren's apartment on the third floor but Daren walked past his room. I asked him where he was going and he expressed how he was dead set on seeing the stars , though he didn't say those words as much as he mumbled them lowly . He got up to the roof and I followed him. He went too close to the edge, he was telling me some joke that he couldn't stop laughing long enough to get out when he almost stepped over the edge. I grabbed his arm and pulled him in close walking us away from the edge. Everything moved so quickly so suddenly I got swept up in the moment and I did it . I kissed him . As I was holding him close he was looking into my eyes and I into his and I couldn't help myself. He broke away from the kiss just as quickly as i started it.

 

 

Daren - are you fucking kidding me right now

 

 

Frank - I ... I'm sorry i just ...its just I ... I didn't mean to 

 

 

Daren - you sad lonely fuck 

 

 

Frank - I just .... 

 

 

He started to laugh.I was so confused, it started a chuckle and turned into an obvious laugh with a grin I hadn't seen before. 

 

 

Frank - wait, are you laughing 

 

 

He gripped the back of my head gently and it caught me off guard. He pulled me back in and this time he fed me his tongue. He started laughing again in the middle of the kiss getting passionate. He then pulled away again and started walking back down stairs and of course I followed.

 

 

Frank - what was that 

 

 

Daren - that was a "I'm so drunk kissing you doesn't feel like a bad idea right now" moment , but that's about it 

 

 

Frank - oh 

 

 

Daren - yea sorry Frank , but your my friend and your a lonely guy , tonight was better than I thought it be and a big part of that might be because of you but I want us to be friends , at least long enough for me to decide if I want to give you a shot at more 

 

 

Frank- but why

 

 

Daren - so that you'll know if you really want me or just don't wanna be alone

 

 

Frank- can't I be both, aren't they the same

 

 

Daren - they're not the same things Frank , they're not the same things


	3. Johnny's

It was hard going to work everyday after having my falling out with Trevor. He still tried to bring me back around to our old arrangement sometimes but for the most part we didn't talk. It's hard realizing the person you thought was your best friend is ashamed of you, it's even worse figuring out that same person only spends time with you to use you. But I let him use me , I was so alone I felt sex meant we had something remotely real. In truth I'm not much different from when that was my mind set.

 

Spending time with Daren made me feel happy in a way I wasn't familiar with. I don't ask anything of him and he doesn't ask anything of me and I don't feel the need to give or receive to know he'll still be around. It's really not that complicated on paper but in reality it's hard finding someone who feels like a true equal in this way . 

 

Being friends with Daren led me to meeting some of his friends as well. He introduced me to his friend Trip a 20 something year old panther who just so happened to still work for Mr.Richardson. He was a hipster meets athletic hybrid. He and Daren went way back. In their company I felt like a bit of a third wheel but it was still better than my old social activities which were solitary at best. I also met Daren's ex girlfriend a pink furred zebra named Teresa. She reminded me of a singer the way she carried herself. She's such a cool girl I can understand why she and Daren stayed friends after breaking up. 

 

The 4 of us , Daren, Teresa, Trip, and myself were eating out one night. We went to "Johnny's" the local bar, like Daren's library it was on the verge of being ran out of business by Mr.Richardson. 

 

Johnny's was an older bar, it had a real 70's vibe about it. There was an orange, green, and purple pattern to the floor that seemed perfect for skating on. The bar stools and chairs were metal with orange or black backings. The walls were painted with old school graffiti flowers and music notes in black green and purple. And all the tables looked like old records. The place was a trip to the past which most people enjoyed, and the food is always great. 

 

Daren - how am I wrong for saying all pandas are fat , it's not racist , pandas are genetically fat 

 

Teresa - I don't think you should go around saying it though 

 

Trip- maybe but I get where Daren is coming from , it's like how most rats have long tails or deer have small tails , pandas just so happen to be fat 

 

Teresa - you still shouldn't say it though

 

Daren - if pandas were naturally skinny there would be no problem why should there be just because they happen to be fat 

 

I found myself in the role of spectator as they went back and forth at each other at the table. It felt good just to be there. I was they newest member of their group so they didn't notice my being so quiet which allowed me to savor what felt like progress. But I wouldn't call it progress, I'm not a video game or a program, maybe I should call it evolution. Just a few weeks ago I would be nowhere near as many people that I am now. 

 

I sipped from glass as my eyes flew from person to person watching their debate continue. I felt that if no one else would then perhaps it was time I got us back on track. As much as I could have stayed there just enjoying their almost TV worthy conversation we did meet up for a reason that day.

 

Frank- hey ... um you guys weren't we supposed to be talking about saving the library 

 

I spoke too softly, I'm sure they didn't catch what I said.

 

Frank - you guys, we really should talk about the library 

 

Again they seemed to be to caught up in their conversation to hear me. 

 

The waitress came by and as she refilled my drink she did what I couldn't. 

 

Waitress - hey yall, the dogs been trying to tell you to Chang subject and with your getting so loud I suggest you listen to him , now can I take yall's order 

 

Everyone went quite. Daren and Trip held in a laugh brought on by the fact that the waitress pretty much told them to shut up I assume. 

 

Trip - yea , I'll have the special 

 

Daren - my usual 

 

Teresa - the garden salad please 

 

Frank- I'll have the "Fire cracker plate"

 

Waitress - alright , I'll be back with your orders shortly

 

The waitress walked away and left us. 

 

Daren - why are all waitresses cows , have you ever noticed that 

 

Trip - your right 

 

Teresa - you guys I think She and Frank are right we have gotten way off topic here

 

Daren - alright where were we again 

 

Frank- your dad wants you to give him back the library, but you don't have to 

 

Trip- if you can afford to keep paying him for the place that is

 

Teresa - and you have to pay him for what he hasn't made you pay in the past

 

Frank- we thought that he had the right to raise the rent on the library but because you live in an apartment in the library he can't raise your rent because that technically makes it a residential building and the actual library can be chalked up to your yard 

 

Trip- and because it's illegal to raise rent on a residential property after a price has been set 

 

Teresa - all you have to do is find a way to pay what your father hasn't made you pay in all this time and then find a stable amount of income to pay rent for now on

 

Daren - but how do I do that, my dad's giving me three months to get the money together but it would take a miracle to actually find that kind of money 

 

Teresa - there must be something

 

Trip- yea , but what 

 

We all leaned back in our chairs and I think the four of us all felt the same sense of hopelessness. 

 

We tried to think of something but we kept drawing the same blank. In the heat of our brainstorm I didn't even notice who had just walked into the bar. 

 

It was Trevor, he noticed me before I did him. He sat at the bar rather than a table. I noticed he was sitting directly across the room from me. He was just looking at me and I couldn't help look back as he sat right there. He didn't try to be discreet, he turned his chair directly in my direction and I tried to look away. It didn't take long for Daren Trip and Teresa to notice something was troubling me. 

 

Daren - everything alright Frank 

 

Trip traced where my eyes were trying not to look and he saw Trevor. 

 

Trip- is that guy watching us 

 

Trip began to stand but I grabbed his arm gently but almost frantically keeping him in his seat. 

 

Frank- he's no one , he's just some guy I work with 

 

Daren knew I was lying but didn't say anything about it. 

 

Teresa - oh then maybe we should invite him over 

 

Frank- NO 

 

Teresa - alright , well maybe you should go talk to him he seems to looking at you pretty intensely

 

Trip- yea the guys starting to freak me out a, why won't he just come over and say something 

 

Frank - I'll go talk to him 

 

Daren - Frank , are you sure 

 

Daren looked me in my eyes we both knew I didn't want to speak to Trevor but I think I needed to.

 

Frank - yea , I'll be right back 

 

Trip- alright, while your over there see if they have anymore sugar, they never make sweet tea sweet enough 

 

Teresa - or maybe you have too big a sweet tooth 

 

I got up from the table and walked over to Trevor, his blank expression turned into a gin thin a smile as I got closer. 

 

Trevor - hey buddy, long time no see 

 

Frank - I just saw you yesterday 

 

Trevor - that was work 

 

Frank -it must have been 

 

Trevor - look we hardly ever talk anymore and I've realized I may have said some things that were 

 

Frank - look Trevor now is not a good time for me , can you just stop staring at me, my friends don't like it 

 

Trevor - your friends

 

Frank - yes my friends 

 

Trevor - sure thing buddy

 

Frank - thank you 

 

I turned around and started to walk back to the table but I nearly died when I realized that Trevor was following me. I quickly turned back around. 

 

Frank - what are you doing 

 

Trevor - don't you want me to meet your friends 

 

Frank- hell no, I don't want you anywhere near my friends or me for that matter 

 

Trevor - you don't mean that 

 

Frank - yes I do 

 

Trevor - look dude I'm trying really hard to make things right , we both know you miss our private time after work 

 

Trip- private time after work ?

 

I didn't realize we were close enough for the table to hear. Trevor leaned into me and spoke in my ear.

 

Trevor - you know we can get back to our arrangement any time 

 

He gripped his cock and rubbed it through his pants in front of me. Trip then stood up as he too noticed the scene being made and walked up to us. 

 

Trip- everything good Frank 

 

Frank - yea , everything's fine 

 

Trip directed his attention to Trevor. 

 

Trip- hey buddy, we have a lady with us , you think maybe you can hold off on the crotch grabs 

 

Trevor - my apologies, what was your name 

 

Trip- my name is Trip

 

Trevor - I'm Trevor

 

Trip- you guys wanna come sit back down with us 

 

Frank- oh Trevor was just leaving 

 

Trevor - oh was I now 

 

Frank- yea remember you have that thing at work you have to go do for me 

 

Trevor - oh that thing, I think I can spare a few minutes to meet your friends 

 

Frank - you know I'll owe you if you go get it done 

 

Trevor - you'll owe me 

 

Frank - yea I'll owe you 

 

Trevor - oh alright, yea then I guess I should be leaving shouldn't I 

 

Frank - yes you should 

 

Trip- I feel like I'm missing something here 

 

Trevor - I was nice meeting you Trip 

 

Trevor shuck hands with Trip and left. 

 

Trip- that guys a little strange but anyway come on Frank, food shouldn't be much longer 

 

Trip and I returned back to the table and our food brought to us not 2 minutes later. 

 

Teresa - so who was that guy again Frank

 

Frank - just an old friend 

 

I ate my food in peace feeling I had just dodged bullet. I noticed Daren wasn't enjoying his food as much as the rest of us. 

 

Daren - I think there's something wrong with my food 

 

He started to cough. 

 

Teresa - are you alright here drink some of my water 

 

Daren gulped down the water but it didn't seem to help much. Trip patted his back but Daren's cough only got worse, I could see his eyes turning red and then he fell out of his seat. 

 

Frank - I'm calling 911 

 

Teresa was frantic. Trip flipped the bun off of Daren's sandwich and examined it. 

 

Frank - is there a doctor here 

 

I got up and start asking for a doctor around the bar yelling out we need help. 

 

Trip- I think someone put something in his food

 

It was a long ordeal , Daren end up going to the hospital where they treated him and found rat poisoning in his system. It wasn't enough to kill him but it very close. He was out of the hospital about 4 days later and in that time the waitress at Johnny's came forward telling the police that she was responsible. She was so upset that Mr.Richardson was trying to shut down her family's business that when she saw Daren that day she couldn't help but do something. She claimed that she didn't want to kill anyone she only wanted to scare him. Of course when Mr.Richardson found out his son had been poisoned he started to go after "Johnny's" even hard. Daren didn't want his father to pursue the the waitress or make Johnny's suffer for her mistakes but by the end of that very next week Johnny's was closed down and that waitress was getting ready for court.


	4. Daren's interlude 1 (Daren's Mother)

Married to a rich man with two children to call her own

She was at peace in life , she was a solid stone

Sure she had her faults and they were sometimes a many

But her husbands sins could be counted more than just plenty

The children were in shade and never truly brought to light

A mother and father collide in a room alone in the depth of night

Father leaves for a while and the children don't know why

And that sad mother holds in her grief so her children don't have to cry

They move to a place far away deep in the cold mountains

Mother daughter and son find peace again until something happens

It was unexpected it could not have been planed for

A man broke in the house he came through the front door

Sounds wake the mother and she is on guard

Brother and sister still sleep thinking its a storm going hard

The man finds the mother before she can find him

He pins her to a wall and starts stabbing at her limbs

She cries out in pain and the children come quick

The man dropped the mother as he thought of something sick

Mother cries out "run" as the man holds out a gun

Daughter runs for her life but its taken like a game like the mans fun

The son holds in place as he cant find strength to move

The man stripped the mother with one sudden move

He groped her breast and licked her face as the son had to watch

If he moved an inch it be a trigger that make his heart stop

The man toyed with the mother fingering her insides

He undid his pants and grinned against her hide

The son fell to his knees and wept for a long time

As his mother was broken in

And made to moan out of her mind

The man finished quick pulling out with a drip

He started to walk away was he finished with his trip

The mother ran to her son still naked and dripping wet

And as she held him near the man shot her and left the son , fate had been met


	5. Your Place

Its so easy to forget your place. And in many ways that's alright, but when your trying to change it can make things complicated. When you forget your place its easy to make yourself believe that you've somehow moved. When you start alone in a dark room its easy to believe that you've changed when you find yourself in a room full of people. But are those people there for you, would they be there for you? Or are you in a room full of people that are only there for someone else and really don't see you. That room becomes bark all over again, not on the outside but on the in. 

 

We tried hard to get the money to save Daren's library, but with his medical bills we knew we were out of luck. I saw Daren cry one day. I came by to see how he was doing and he was behind the building balling his out out. He stopped himself the moment he saw me but his eyes were still red and his furr was still wet. I didn't ask why he was crying because I could think of a few reasons why. Instead I tried to help by discussing the only thing I knew I could talk about that didn't involve Daren's problem with his father. I talked to him about work. I talked to him about Trevor. 

 

Daren- I forgot you guys work together 

 

Frank- If I could work anywhere else for as much as pay I'd switch jobs in a heart beat 

 

Daren- you guys are still on the rocks 

 

Frank- he's a different person, I stopped smoking weed and tried finding friends and it seems like he's obsessed with getting me back in his shadow now

 

Daren- so you feel like your out of his shadow now 

 

I felt a slight rise in Daren's mood , he loves helping people, or maybe he just like helping me. Ether was as embarrassing as talking about me and Trevor might have been we continued. 

 

Frank- I guess so , yea , almost 

 

Daren- what is it Frank , your not telling me something 

 

Frank- lately Trevor has been showing up 

 

Daren- showing up ?

 

Frank- out of nowhere, like he just always knows where I am , it started that day you me Trip and Teresa were out 

 

Daren- yea I remember it felt like he was watching us or something 

 

Frank- he was watching me , and I thought I got him to leave me alone and stop trying to ruin things for me with your friends 

 

Daren- they're your friends too Frank 

 

Frank- I know , but my point is that I said I would owe him if he stopped trying to ruin things for me , and lately it feels like he wants to collect 

 

Daren- well first of all you shouldn't have to owe someone just to make them leave you alone , and second what exactly does he want from you 

 

I paused and though I said nothing the silence and the well known history spoke volumes. 

 

Daren- he cant make you do stuff like that 

 

Frank- I know 

 

Daren- and so what if he shows up from time to time , or talks to your friends, whats the worst he could say about you , how much damage could one guy be to your social life 

 

Frank- that's just it , I don't know how far he'll go or what he'll say , but he knows me well enough that he could do damage, and I've done things , I've done things for him that he could easily tell people about

 

Daren- I think you might have over exaggerating things just a little, he's an adult, i doubt he spends his time thinking about telling people you've sucked him off a few times 

 

Frank- you don't know Trevor, he's like a kid 

 

Daren- maybe he is ,but its not like anyone will care if he says anything, everyone has sucked dick before, and everyone fucks everyone eventually 

 

The moment those last four words left his mouth he you could see him trying to take them back and reword them. 

 

Frank- everyone fucks everyone eventually 

 

Daren- don't get any ideas Frank I told you were just friends 

 

Frank- but we don't have to just be 

 

Daren- Frank , stop , just stop , I've been poisoned, I'm in a war against my father who because I'm related to most of the town now hates me , and in about a week I'm going to be homeless, normally I'd entertain your idea of us trying to go further than just friends but right now I have too much going on to worry about seeing anyone 

 

He finally moved from behind the dumpster we were using as cover. I tried to follow him but he made it clear he needed to be alone. At least he wasn't crying, on the outside anyway. 

 

Another week had past and just as we all saw coming, Daren was evicted. For a while I didn't see much of him, in fact I didn't see much of anyone. 

 

Trip and Teresa were as hard to find as Daren had become. I realized that nothing really had changed, I was still just as alone as ever. I thought by moving from under one person I would find more , but it doesn't help when all i did was move under another person in the end. 

 

I find myself feeling like a child mad at myself for not having any of my own friends. But just because a child might face similar problems doesn't mean they aren't heavy in an adult. And perhaps I count my suns short, I might only have Daren to call a true friend but that's one more than what I started with. And Trip and Teresa may be Daren's loyal two but who's to say that in time they wont be mine too. 

 

Something strange happened , and I could feel it in my conflicting voices that a third reality had risen. I stopped caring about my own situation, I forgot my own story and found myself becoming a side element to Daren's theme. And I didn't mind. The voices in my head that for a long time were only concerned with finding others to be with had gone silent. All my thoughts and conflicting perspectives on truly making progress meant nothing. Of course at the time I didn't realize this truth. 

 

I was on the hunt for Daren, I was unsure if i wanted to find him for myself or because I wanted to help. 

 

It took a lot of word of mouth tracking to find Daren. I used my knowledge of him obviously still being a weed dealer for money to help me find him. Its interesting how loyal smokers are to their dealers , I went through a lot of people to find Daren. 

 

I heard from a bartender at this bar that Daren and I went to that there was this Wolf named Zeek that knew how to find him. The bartender gave me an address and I didn't waist much time finding it.

 

It was a run down parking lot on the less than pleasant part of town. I didn't understand , I thought maybe I just put the wrong address in my GPS. I started to walk back to my car but before I could open the door I heard it. That voice had so much rasp it struck me dead in my tracks.

 

Zeek- leaving so soon pup 

 

I felt him walk up behind me and press his body against me leaving almost no space between us. He breathed down my back and my furr stood up. 

 

Zeek- what brings such a soft pelt to a place like this 

 

I started to turn around slowly which was awkward and hard with him standing so close. 

 

Frank- I'm looking for a guy named Zeek, he's a wolf 

 

I spoke softly and the fear in my voice was apparent with its every crack. I knew he was most likely Zeek , he was a wolf and he was at the address I was given after all. 

 

Zeek- and what do you need with this Zeek guy anyway pup 

 

Frank- I was hoping that you um he or someone could help me find my friend Daren 

 

He put his four head to mine and spoke to where his breath went straight in my face . 

 

Zeek- Well if I knew any Zeek maybe I'd point you in his direction or maybe I'd even tell you where this "Daren" guy is but you aren't giving me much reason to pup, in fact I don't really like strays around, are you a stray 

 

Frank- no sir , I'm not a stray 

 

Zeek- if your not a stray you must be a friend, are you telling me your a friend, you come to my place looking for people wanting answers from me wanting me to be friendly 

 

He poked me in my chest and opened his hand to grip me by my shirt. 

 

Zeek- but you don't seem very friendly, you aint done nothing for me to show me that your a friend so how can I believe you 

 

Frank- I..I ....

 

I couldn't process what was happening quickly enough.

 

Zeek- I know how you can show me your a friend

 

He hung on to my shirt as he started to walk into the parking lot dragging me along even as i struggled. He seemed to laugh at my every attempt to break free. We got to the center of the lot and there were stairs leading down. He tightened his grip as we went down into the dark stairwell. There was a door at the bottom and we stopped. 

 

Frank- why are we stopping , are you going to let me go 

 

I could feel his claws going through my shirt into my chest as he held me there and with one final glance and laugh he gave me something to take forward.

 

Zeek- your gonna prove your a friend or ill show you what happens to strays pup

 

He lifted me off the ground as he swung the door open and then tossed me in.


	6. Ground Floor

I hit the floor and saw nothing but the light being closed off by the closing of the door. I could hear breathing all around me , I wasn't alone . 

Frank- I don't want any trouble 

Zeek- trouble

Zeek laughed and I began to cower in what I thought was the corner of a room. I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer so I closed my eyes and turned into a ball. 

The lights flashed on and I was too afraid to look around me. 

Daren- Frank 

I knew that voice, my eyes flew open. 

Frank- Daren 

I could final see the room around me , it was actually pretty nice aside from all the obvious drugs laying everywhere. 

Daren- Frank what are doing here 

Frank- looking for you 

Daren- why are you on the floor 

I looked up at Zeek who was laughing to no end. Daren helped me to my feet. 

Frank - I thought he was going to ... 

Daren- going to what ? Hurt you ? Zeek is harmless

I motioned to the claw marks in my shirt. 

Daren- he did that , I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it 

Zeek- yea pup, cant you take a joke 

Daren walked me to what looked like a kitchen area and along the way I saw there were at least a couple dozen other people sleeping on the floor of the room. 

Frank- what is this place 

Daren- this is my new home 

Frank- your new home? It seems a little.. I don't know, crowded 

Daren- Yea a little but you get over it 

Frank- why were all the lights off 

Daren- this is a parking lot Frank , all the lights are connected, you turn of one you turn off them all 

Frank- oh, I guess that makes sense 

Daren sat on the counter. 

Daren- alright frank really now what are you doing here 

Frank- I was worried about you 

He chuckled a little. 

Daren- that's sweet Frank really it is , but I'm fine 

Frank- you lost your home and I couldn't find you , and you stopped answering your phone 

Daren- my phone has been off for a while, look I'm fine now , you see everyone in here , they pay me to keep them high and they let me stay here rent free

Frank- so now your a drug dealer 

Daren- I've always been a drug dealer, now I'm a full time drug dealer 

Frank- you don't have to do this , you can move in with me if you need a place to stay , I can get you a job at the radio station 

Daren didn't respond for a long time , he wouldn't even look me in the eye. 

Daren- that's nice Frank , but you don't have to do that 

Frank- but I want to 

Daren- I have plenty of friends Frank , friends I've known longer than you and plenty of them know where I am now , why is it that you are the only one offering me a place to stay 

Frank- because ... because you helped me , you were a friend to me when I needed one and what kind of friend would I be if I just turned away from you now

Daren got off the counter and turned his back to me. 

Daren- your a nice guy frank , I don't know if your offering me a place to stay because you still feel lonely or because you really are that good a friend, but you don't want me in your house 

Frank- but I do 

Daren- no you don't , look at where we are right now frank, this is where I've landed myself, do you really wanna take a chance on me leading us back here 

Frank- Daren , your a good person 

Daren- I'm a fucking drug dealer , who was a trust-fund kid living off his dads money, 

Frank- that doesn't make you a bad person 

I tried to put my hand on his shoulder but he moved further away. 

Daren- you don't know me frank

Frank- then let me , I'm trying to be your friend, you don't have to try so hard to find a reason why I cant be 

Daren- do I need you or do you need me Frank , can you answer that question, because ether answer is a wrong one 

Zeek - can the two of you keep it down , your starting to wake everyone 

Daren- Frank I think its time you go 

Frank- Daren 

Zeek - you heard the guy , its time to go pup 

Zeeks claws once again griped at my shirt and dragged me away. 

Frank- Daren 

He pulled me all the way back out to my car. 

Zeek- anytime you wanna party come back pup , but don't come looking for The D man anymore


	7. Help

Daren wouldn't let me help him. My first real friend , not a fake friend that only wanted me as a side kick or a pet , but my first real friend was in a bad place and all I could do was hope he'd let me in. Its one thing to feel your own pain but feeling it for someone else is surreal in the worst way. But at least then I knew he was really a friend to me and me him. At least then I knew I wasn't alone in the world. 

 

I wondered what happened to Daren's other friends. He told me he had plenty of friends that knew where he was , could I really be the only one that cared enough to try to help. 

 

Walking home from work my only thoughts were of ways to help Daren. I wish I had payed more attention, maybe then I would have noticed Trevor was following me. 

 

Trevor - Frank 

 

I turned my head and saw him behind me , i quickened my footsteps trying to avoid him. 

 

Trevor- Frank

 

He was getting closer and I was almost home. I wasn't about to run , I had nothing to be afraid of. 

 

Trevor- Frank , bud 

 

He had his hand on my shoulder, I was so close. Only a few footsteps to the front entrance of my apartment complex . I had to turn around at this point. 

 

Frank- Trevor, what are you doing here 

 

Trevor- I thought we might need to talk 

 

Frank- about what 

 

Trevor- you know you don't have to be cold to me man , we're supposed to be friends 

 

Frank- we haven't been friends for a while 

 

Trevor- we've been friends for years, I said some shit and I was an ass but come on dude you could try to work things out with me 

 

Frank- you said a lot of things , and then you held the fact that we had sex over my head to get me to do something 

 

Trevor- but I haven't told anyone, and I know I've been holding it against you but I could never bring myself to make you do anything 

 

Frank - what about how you always seem to show up where I am , that's just creepy 

 

Trevor- we've lived in the same city for how long now, off course we both go to a lot of the same places so I think that's just coincidence 

 

I wanted to just walk away but he was right. Even if recently we haven't been in a good spot Trevor has always been a friend , I hope.

 

Frank- do you wanna come upstairs 

 

Trevor- yea 

 

We went up to my place. 

 

Trevor- I see my cum stains are still everywhere 

 

Frank- yea, I tried to get them up but they were just to big 

 

He laughed a little and I did too as he grabbed a beer from my fridge and joined me in the living room. 

 

Frank- you know we cant have sex again 

 

Trevor- yea I know , no matter how much you want to 

 

Frank- how much I want to ?

 

Trevor- your the gay one out of us 

 

Frank- yea but you liked it just as much as I did 

 

He sipped more of his drink and I noticed his smile dim. 

 

Trevor- yea , I guess I did 

 

He looked away from me and even with the TV on there was a clear silence. 

 

Trevor- Bro , I really missed you

 

Frank- I missed you too 

 

Trevor- when you gave up on me ,I don't Know what happened I guess I went kinda crazy.... over... you 

 

Frank- what are you saying 

 

Trevor- maybe I was following you at times , and I did try to get you back by blackmailing you , but I was just so used to having you as like my side kick my one sure thing I didn't know what to do when you were gone

 

Frank - Trevor your not saying what I think you are ... are you 

 

Trevor- I kept you away from my other friends because I wanted you to myself, not because you wouldn't fit in or whatever shit I told you 

 

Frank- just say what your trying to say 

 

Trevor- Bro ... I think I like you, not as a friend but like in a "I want to fuck you and stick around after " type of way

 

I stood up. 

 

Frank- you gotta go 

 

Trevor- but I like you , for real

 

Frank- I cant , not right now not right when I'm 

 

Trevor- right when your what 

 

He stood up with me and stepped close. 

 

Trevor- you cant turn me down 

 

Frank- Trevor leave 

 

He gripped me by my arm and pin'd me between him and a wall. 

 

Trevor- no 

 

Frank- let go , and get out 

 

Trevor- no , you like me , fuck you probably love me , I let you get away from me but I'm here now 

 

He started undressing me. 

 

Frank- what the hell are you doing 

 

Trevor- what we both want 

 

I hit him in his face and tried to get his hands off of me but he restrained my hands above my head with one hand. He pulled my pants and boxers down then his own. He stuffed his shirt in my mouth as he took off his shoes so he could step out of his pants. I struggled and strained but he was too strong. He felt up my body as licked my neck up my chin. I didn't want to enjoy it but he knew me , he knew how to make me moan and twitch. He bit into my shoulder with full fangs enough to draw blood as he ground his cock against mine. He could hear my muffled scream as he bit down harder touching bone . 

 

He let go of my hands and i fell to my knees . 

 

Trevor- you know I'm stronger than you , don't struggle and we'll both enjoy it 

 

He kept my against the wall with his foot pressed to my chest while he spoke. He tried to rationalize why he was in the right and how I must have wanted it but all I heard was static as the room seemed to be spinning. I looked up at him and couldn't breath. 

 

He used his foot to push my head down till i was laying on my back on the floor. I tried to move away but he griped my hips as he got down with me holding me in place as he slid his cock between my legs. He slammed inside me thrusting hard and fast all the while never breaking eye contact with me. He held my waist with one hand and my neck with his other choking me as he fucked me. I tried to shut my eyes but he slapped me till I opened them again. He wouldn't let up for a second.

 

I don't know when but I must have passed out. When I awoke I was laying in bed and he was siting on the edge of it. He was just sitting there. He must have been waiting for me to wake up , he turned to me and smiled. 

 

Trevor- you had fun right 

 

I couldn't speak, I was still in fear. 

 

Trevor- this wasn't how I wanted things to go Bro , its really not , but at least now we don't have to hide from each other 

 

He got up , he had on his pants but they weren't zipped , his shirt was still on the floor soaked in my saliva and his shoes were lost somewhere in my apartment. 

 

Trevor- Ill be back tomorrow

 

He left and for hours I couldn't move from my bed. My furr was red with blood he bit me more than once. I could barley feel my legs when I finally got up . The floor from my living room to my bed was covered in cum and blood. I put on a shirt and pants and left my apartment. 

 

It was night time , I didn't have my phone so the exact time was a mystery. 

 

I drove over to Daren's new living arrangement. I needed him. I needed someone. There was a party or something going on . Everyone was on something , I knew Daren had to be at the middle of it all. But before I could reach him I found Zeek.

 

Zeek- well well well , nice to see you again pup , you come to party


	8. Daren's Interlude 2

Tell me when to stop trying when to walk away. I lost too much now to say I don't the price to pay . They took me from my home and left me in a shadow, I felt so cold and I felt hollow. Mother dead sister long gone, left to live in a big house with widows that felt more like a cage than a house. My father didn't understand the pain that I went through, so I grew to hate him because I was easy to look through. I just wanted everything to go the way I knew it could, but all those memories trapped in my mind kept me in a state of living bad just to be good. Now I'm trying to find a way out. 

My father never understood. My mother left him so when she was gone it meant nothing to him. For years I tried to get over my sister and mother being killed. At first I blamed myself for not being strong enough to protect them. Then I blamed my father for being a heartless dick that drove my mother away in the first place. Then I blamed the police for not catching the killer. In the end no matter who I put the blame on I was still left without my sister and mother. 

When I moved back to town to stay with my father I had become someone different. I was so young and already the world had broken me. Year after year it became easier , no it became less apparent that I was this broken down kid. My father even tried to comfort me every now and again, to no avail. Some might have called me goth at the time. 

I was 18 when my life had finally hit play again. It was a slow transformation. For the longest time I was a shut in , only going outside my father's big house for school. I didn't have many friends but to be honest I didn't want them. But people always seemed to gravitate to me. The world loves to poke at sad things after all. That's how I met her, my first love , Diamond. She was a beautiful Siberian Tiger . I remember it like yesterday, for the first time in 13 years I left the house by my own choice to go to a library. I don't remember why I chose to go to a library but I did.


	9. Removal

Zeek was even harder to confront now after our last encounter when he made it clear I shouldn't come back. I was still in shock , my body was almost lifeless as I didn't make eye contact and spoke well beneath my breath. 

Frank - I need to see Daren 

He came closer and and where normal I might have stepped back out of fear my feet didn't move. 

Zeek-I told you not to come looking for Daren any more didn't I 

He repeated our first encounter almost exactly. He flashed flashed his fangs and got in my face but I didn't react. It was only at the moment when he must have smelled the blood from my neck that he finally dropped the act. His mouth slowly closed as he put away his fangs. When I looked him in his eye I think he read my mind because he stepped back and lowered his intent. 

Zeek- what do you need to see Daren for 

His question was asked with sarcasm but for him that meant he must have empathized with me on some level. 

Frank- I don't know , I just need him right now 

He couldn't stop looking at my neck. Blood was coming through my shirt and standing there for so long was starting to drive me numb. 

Zeek- pup I can't let you any further, he told me not to let you inside again 

Frank - he... I ... I need 

Zeek- what you need is a new shirt and a doctor, from one dog to another you shouldn't be around this part of town, you aren't made for what goes down here and I'd rather not make your night worse than it already is 

Frank- but I 

Zeek- don't make me the bad guy pup , I'm just doing a job 

I tried to walk past him. He looked at me with disappointed eyes as he used one arm to hold me back. 

Zeek- pup if you don't leave now whatever you've been through tonight will be a walk I'm the park after I'm done with you 

I didn't stop and It was humiliating as he kept me from moving like a child being stopped by a finger of an adult. He didn't want to hurt me , but it was clear that he would if he had to. 

I had to leave, but where to go. I couldn't go home , my bed would be too much of a hard place and Daren couldn't be reached. It came across my mind to go to the police or a doctor but I was in too much pain and distress to choose ether so I chose neither. I knew that I would have to go to the police eventually but I couldn't imagine walking in and giving a statement about what had happened. I could still feel him on me , in me. 

I found myself in a hotel room. I tried to sleep but it didn't help that I kept the lights on. I tossed and turned all night imagining his fangs still in my neck and shoulder. Every touch of the sheets scared me as I thought each layer of fabric was his furr. I might have enjoyed the hotel, it was one of the nicest I think I've ever been in , but everything reminded me of Trevor. 

The next day I called in sick from work. I stayed in bed from sun up to sun down . Watching the light in the room shift shadows around as I laid still trying to sleep was almost hypnotic. Day two role around and I still had yet to leave bed for anything other than the restroom. 

It was around 6pm that I started getting the voice messages from Trevor. My phone was on the bedside table and it started to ring. I was reluctant to check it but something made me pick it up. I read his name and dropped my phone to the floor. I had to flow my ears and hide my head under a pillow as I heard him leave the first message. It was so soft and calm , he apologized, and I could almost fall for his words as they seemed so sincere. 

Day three I was more aware, I even turned the TV on. I took a long shower and ate food from a vending machine. I was still far from OK but I was functioning enough to keep myself from starving to death in that hotel room. It was 6pm again when I got another voice message on my phone. Trevor was still apologetic but I could hear anxiety in his voice as as he pleaded for me to come to work. 

I got into a routine, I'd try try to sleep at night, get up at 9 am , shower for an hour, eat vending machine food at 12 try to sleep again but end up watching TV. And every day I would get a new message from Trevor at 6pm. 

I was in that hotel for almost a month. Each day that went by it seemed I was getting better but the moment I heard his voice through my phone I would go back to that state of frozen terror. I had to go home soon , hotel rooms aren't exactly cheap especially with my income. 

Almost an entire month had went by and still the police were not informed of my ... event. Almost an entire month and had went by and still I didn't visit the hospital, by this point Trevor's fang marks were sure to be permanent. I needed to move , I needed to come back to myself but I didn't know how. No amount of making myself eat or bathe meant that I was alright but I was aware of my state of disconnect. 

When I left the hotel I was still just as broken as when I arrived. Where I couldn't breath now I could struggle to breath. Where every touch reminded me of him I now I had a need to check around me to make sure he never got close again. I made progress without progress and I hopped that it would be enough for to start .

The way I saw it I had three choices, I could be safe , bold, or passive. I could go to the police, but I could hardly stand to think about Trevor so talking about what he did would be difficult at best. I could go home back to my life and assume that I had the power to stop him next time, or go so far as to make him know not to come near me again . Or I could try to forget and act like nothing happened , but he won't forget and he will want more. 

I wish I had someone to talk to , maybe then the choice would be easier. I want him to regret what he's done and to know that I'm not his. I want to be safe and know that he won't try anything again. I want to move on. But I can't have one without sacrificing the others , and in the same sense I can't have ether. How can I move on if I know he's still around and he still thinks I'm his. How can I go to the police if I can't even bare to say his name. How do I make him regret what he's done when I don't even have the strength to go to the police. It was then that I heard my phone ring . It was 6pm. I couldn't take his voice anymore I took my phone and dropped it in the garbage can on my way out of the hotel lobby. No matter what I did It wouldn't be perfect but I knew I had to do something if I ever wanted to feel better. And to think there was once a time when I offered myself up to him willingly.


End file.
